Photo by Tim Mossholder

 

Today, just about everybody knows someone who grew up in an abusive household that had the Bible in one hand, and the belt in the other. Much of the older books on Christian parenting are filled with ideas that have now been proven abusive and harmful, leading to childhood trauma.

 

In contrast, this makes Biblical counseling books for gentler parenting sound rather novel. Many of the proponents of ‘traditional’ Christian parenting are even opposed to the idea! But despite that, they exist, and they will be necessary to undo the damage being done by misguided faith parenting.

 

For example, Bible scholars have been doing some serious re-evaluation of the segments in Proverbs about disciplining children. It turns out many of these verses have been heavy on the use of verbal instruction and counseling, rather than just being very quick to inflict corporal punishment as ‘discipline.’

 

Sadly, many Christian circles have been taken over the trend of wanting to revive ‘traditional’ parenting, and reject all the wisdom that has been gained in the last 20 years. Many don’t even realize that the youth counterculture against Christianity is fueled, in part, by the loss of credibility and hypocrisy (which includes the use of violent corporal punishment despite Jesus’ command that they are to be peacemakers). Finding, if not publishing, Biblical counseling books for gentler parenting will be instrumental towards healing these rifts.

 

Finding Biblical Roots for Gentler Parenting

 

 

Photo by Tim Wildsmith

 

Before gathering resources on gentler parenting Biblical principles, it is easier when you first understand the opposite intention. Many older, abusive parenting guides often seek out Bible verses that assert authority, and the use of strength, to ‘beat out’ sinful behavior in kids.

 

In other words, they had an understandable intention, but they also wanted to validate problematic means. This can cause them to ignore verses on more compassionate, non-violent forms of correction. For example, Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

 

It is a verse that already tasks fathers with the responsibility of raising their children without causing them much duress. It is just one of the many gentler parenting insights from Biblical wisdom.

 

Furthermore, this approach also helps understand Scripture in light of new psychological and pediatric research. And while some critics say that gentler parenting styles also have their share of flaws, that is a bit beside the point.

 

The main point is parenting advice from Scripture shouldn’t validate the secular stereotype of raising kids in physically abusive households. Towards that end, integrating ways to correct behavior without being forceful is just common sense.

 

 

Seek Experts On Biblical Counseling Books for Gentler Parenting

 

 

Photo by Dylan Ferreira

 

Many of the most Biblical books that inspire compassionate parenting are written by experts and those with lots of lived experience practicing what they preach.

 

There is plenty of that being done here at Into HIS Rest ministries, where therapy practice and faith are used hand in hand in ministering to hurting people. Teaching Biblical lessons for patient parenting is just another part of this important work.

 

Of course, there are also plenty of other ministries and churches who are unafraid to do the same all around country.

 

These are the ones who are now actively working to align Scripture with better, advancing knowledge of mental health for families and children. They are well aware of much older church cultures that have become attached to a rigid, ‘tough love’ idea of using the Bible as a disciplinary tool. They know how to transform that into something that also sees strength in vulnerability and softness.

 

Finding these types of support networks will prove instrumental, especially in the most abusive of religious environments. It is unfortunate that these environments even exist at all. But know that, as Christian parents, your first responsibility is to create a home where kids won’t grow up with adverse experiences that they will associate with faith.

 

Practicing Parenting That is Both Scriptural and Gentle

 

Now, even if you have started reading a few guides and getting guidance from a professional, there is no guarantee that applying a gentle, Christian parenting approach will succeed.

 

That’s okay. That’s the reality for any approach, whether you want to transform your parenting with lessons from the Bible, or even with just a more secular approach.

 

What’s important is that the next generation of Christian families will learn from the mistakes of those before them. With God’s help, a gentler parenting approach can break cycles of trauma instead of passing them on, all while bringing kids closer to Jesus.

Need more resources for breaking trauma? Find them here!