Photo by Tim Mossholder
Children grow into individuals that would walk through society with aspirations. However, abusive parenting may hinder their development, causing more dilemmas than order in the community.
There are different types of parenting that allow a couple to control and shape their children into individuals they always visualize. Parenting is not easy as the kids would grow with their senses, which would let them need guidance from their parents. However, abusive parenting from the past may have contributed to the change in the ways how parents take care of their children, giving rise to different views and different directions.
Dr. David and Beverly Sedlacek’s Gentle Measures: God’s Plan for Parenting is a parenting book that features a six-part series that challenges the abusive aspects of traditional parenting. This book helps parents to use an alternative way to use love as a motivator to teach respect for authority. Using the views of biblical counseling books, Gentle Measures also reminds the parents that God is with them as they take care of their little ones.
Parenting comes as an instinct to nurture the young. In the traditional sense, some parents teach their young using punishments and physical abuse to let them learn their lessons. This parenting style might have let some children grow into proper individuals, but some have grown into those carrying the negativity that could scar society. Some children become disrespectful instead of following the authority as they have not received love from their parents.
There are four types of parenting that a couple apply to children: Authoritarian, Permissive, Uninvolved, and Mindful parenting. The three former types may also create a negative space and atmosphere for children to learn as they would acquire trauma from these if they do not receive the proper guidance from a person of authority or guardian.
Here are some effects of abusive parenting on children:
Low Self-Esteem
Abusive parenting can hinder a child’s development of self-esteem, which is one part of a person’s needs based on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Children who experience physical abuse from parents. The kids will also have low self-esteem when the parents use harmful words, continuous criticism, incessant reprimands, and shame. These are tactics of abusive parenting affecting the psychology of growing children. With low self-esteem, children will develop trauma, stress, anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
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Control Issues
Growing up from a negative parenting, children may grow up to be individuals with controlling issues. From what they have learned from their experiences, they may apply a controlling behavior on their partners. People with controlling issues do not honor boundaries and would invade other people’s privacy thinking they have a total control over the other person in the relationship.
Abusive parenting can also stem from the controlling issues they develop, which continues the cycle of abuse.
Rebel Attitudes
People who experienced abusive parenting may have also developed rebellious behavior. Some of these individuals resist the orders of authoritative figures, such as parents, teachers, and even the law. The products of the negative parenting may have gone through a phase in which they would dowse themselves with alcohol and drugs to seemingly ease the thoughts of abuse they encountered when they were young. Alcohol, sex, and drug addictions can all become the reason behind crimes such as robbery, rape, trafficking, and homicide.
Aggression and Antisocial Behaviors
People with antisocial behavior have developed a sense of disregard for rights and the law. These people, especially the aggressive ones, could have delved deeper into the world of substance abuse. Individuals with aggression and antisocial behaviors would hurt other people without feeling any guilt as they would see themselves as more important.
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Low Resilience and Indifference
People with low resilience dwell in negative emotions as they have weak psychological protection against the factors around them, while those who develop indifference will not care about anything that’s happening. Abusive parenting that uses negative criticism, shame, and incessant reprimands will produce kids with low resilience or indifference. Those with low resilience are haunted by their negative experiences and would lurk more into the negative emotions, pushing them to anxiety and depression. Kids who grow up indifferent tend not to listen or take in any criticism and continue doing deeds that could have negative effects on their surroundings.
Relationship Issues
Parenting is a type of relationship between the parents and their young. If both of the parental figures are abusive towards their child, the child will learn to use abuse as a mechanism in their future relationships. A person who grew up in abusive parenting would have relationship issues that involve controlling, gaslighting, violent, and dismissive relationships.
In this era of divorce and abusive parenting, some people still strive to become mindful parents and save their children from future abuse. Parents with a strong faith in God still believe that good can be taught to the future generation. Learning to create a home with love, care, and understanding also means a better future for everyone in the family.