Photo by Sergey Zolkin
Victims of abuse and trauma have been with us since man was cast out of Eden. In Cleansing the Sanctuary of the Heart, the book about trauma treatment by Beverly and David Sedlacek, readers can see how these victims can be just about anyone at any time.
Yet now, in the 21st century, there’s no denying that the newest forms of abuse victim are those who are harassed online or on the receiving end of mass verbal attacks on social media. There are also those who are quietly suffering in terms of mental health because they participate in toxic online communities or spend hours in heated discussions about specific issues.
In one way, this problem (and the traumas it creates) is unprecedented. The internet is more or less exclusively a 21st century phenomenon that made this possible. More and more people are able to share their opinions and in turn, get larger amounts of feedback.
Sadly, this hasn’t entirely been a good thing. Just as how radio and televised media was misused in the past, all sorts of bad actors are turning online spaces into instruments of polarization that pose all sorts of threats to people’s psychological well-being. The intense culture wars that are raging all across America have turned the internet into a battlefield with plenty of casualties and trauma victims.
That’s why it’s become more important than ever for everyone to see this problem for what it is. Being able to spot and tackle online abuse has nothing to do with picking ‘sides’ or even engaging certain topics at all. Rather, it’s about paying attention to the toll it is taking on people close to you. Consider the following strategies.
Encourage Civility
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At this point, everyone knows that One Person or that Weird Uncle on the internet who gets on everybody’s nerves by saying the darnedest things.
The real problem though is that this isn’t just out-of-touch relatives or edgy teenagers who are starting abusive conversations on the internet. One recent study has even come out to say that the state of social media is more negative than ever.
This means that even the most well-meaning (or even the most intelligent) conversationalist you know is likely not coming off the internet without a scratch. There is no telling when or how frequently they will participate in internet discussions that have lax moderation on the way participants to talk to each other.
Thus, a good way to tackle online abuse is to encourage civil discourse and pay attention to spaces where people are clearly not keen on having polite discussions with those they disagree with.
Make a point to also check up on those you know who are frequenting such spaces. Don’t hesitate to have an honest (but polite) discussion on how it may be impacting their emotional well-being. You never know when you might be able to help them find healthier alternatives to those platforms or even people to have better conversations with on certain topics. Winning an argument shouldn’t be at the cost of proper behavior or general peace of mind.
Control Time on Social Media
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Another well-known way to tackle online abuse and curb its effects is still limiting time spent on social media. There are plenty ways you can start a social media time out plan for yourself and your loved ones.
This way, you are not only giving more protection from exposure to abusive comments and emotionally charged discussions. You are also giving space to have real, face-to-face conversations that allow for vulnerability while also encouraging sensitivity.
One of the reasons why unmanaged social media time has become increasingly risky for mental health is the way online anonymity has empowered all sorts of bad actors. By staying anonymous or hiding behind profiles, users can be more prone to saying insensitive language or harsh comments without fear of repercussion (in contrast to real life). Reduced time spent on social media can both mitigate such tendencies as well as protect oneself from anonymous trolls.
Avoiding Abuse and Abusive Topics
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Now for some people, the idea of getting away from the internet completely might be impossible. They may need to still engage on it. Their livelihoods might depend on being an online influencer in some way.
That still doesn’t mean that one should ignore the dangers of negative online behavior from a lot of anonymous faces. There should still be some way to moderate engagement and tackle online abuse when things are starting to look ugly.
These can be as simple as volunteering to filter or delete unwanted comments. Safeguards that only permit certain types of followers or viewers to comment could be another way to discourage uncivil conversations.
You can also have a discussion on what topics to focus online, and what are too personal or controversial to tackle for the present moment.
Because it bears repeating: no matter how righteous or correct a certain standpoint is, it loses any significance when people are still abused and hurt in the process.
Want to see more examples of how to help people out of abuse situations? Check out Cleansing the Sanctuary of the Heart. You can find it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and the ReadersMagnet online bookstore.