September 17, 2013
Our responses to trauma and pain have taken us to places we were never intended to go. And unfortunately many of us have chosen not only to visit these places, but to stay. It is amazing how comfortable we can get being and doing things that were never ours to do.
When I was in college my nickname was “ice.” I didn’t come up with the name but I wore it like a badge of honor thinking it was a great way to keep people away that I didn’t want to be bothered with. The problem is it also kept those away who I wanted to get to know more intimately.
I’m now sure though the name may have been given in college the behavior I exhibited began long before college ever entered the picture. I had learned that being like “ice” was the way to survive childhood trauma and pain, and since I was determined not to feel that pain again, I created a “ way out.”
God’s “ way out” is not to escape the pain but to go through the pain. Isaiah 43:2 says, “ When you walk through deep waters, I will be with you. When you pass through swollen rivers, they will not flow over you. When you walk through fire, you will not be burned, neither will the flames harm you.”
What a great promise for those of us who are still wearing our badges of honor and behaving in self -protective modes! When we are busy protecting ourselves, God is left on the outside. Most times, He’s out of the picture altogether and we don’t even know it.
I very recently discovered the warmer more tender parts of me that have been hidden away and covered over by “ice.” Through the years God has been gently calling me to reclaim those parts, and He continues to call today. There are people in your life, and mine too who need to discover their tender parts. What I have discovered is when I am a willing participant, not only do others reap the benefits, but God also includes me. That’s the beauty of God’s economy. No one is left out!